See you later

These last few weeks have taught me I am so much more like you dad than I ever realised.

The same logical, methodical approach, the same twisted sense of humour, the same taste in programmes (mostly) and the same twinkle in my eye that makes others think “what are they up to?”

Being more of a tomboy growing up, I was my dad’s honorary boy. Chopping firewood, helping build the garden shed, loving to construct stuff and plan. I only wish we could plan some things now.

As I get ready to say “Goodbye for now” I think of all the things you’ll never get to be part of, the milestones I’ll reach without your presence and theological debates that used to get both our blood pressures raised. What a blessed time to share these last few weeks just sitting with you, journeying and even watching the flipping boring darts!

But there was an ease between us than never before, just happy to ‘Be’ and happy to share space and time. I be forever grateful for that gift. I sensed it was a gift at the time and was glad to have it.

This is not goodbye Dad, just “I’ll see you later”

Knowing You - A Eulogy

Below is the eulogy I gave at my dad's funeral celebration. I wanted people to know all of who he was and the person he was to all of us.

JAMES HENRY MCNEILL
Born 29 June 1948

Affectionately known as “Wee Harry” or “Mac”
Described as a “funny wee man, with a cheeky smile and a mischievous twinkle in his eye”.

Unfortunately, he thought he was funny often more than WE did.
He was such a story teller and joker and he even had Shirley (his Pastor) convinced that his new grandson was called wee “Arthur” when his name was actually Jaxon James after his granda. She found this out much to her embarrassment the first time she met Jaxon and said “hello wee Arthur!!” and Pam (Jaxon's mum, my sister) started to laugh.

My dad just didn’t know what to be at.

He found a home in Annaghanoon, I just really want to honour the people of Annaghannon (Highways and Byways) and Donald and Shirley his Pastors. You know, He loved coming here, He loved your preaches, and if anyone knew my dad, knew he was a man of faith and that was not only part of who he was, that was ALL of who he was.

The ROMANTIC
In his early years my dad was quite the romantic.
The very first time he laid eyes on my mum, he asked the friend he was with “who’s that girl over there?”. When his friend told him her name, my dad replied “well I’m going to marry that girl” ……….and he did.

My mum was actually in School uniform at the time – that sort of thing could get you a lengthy prison sentence these days! However, luckily for him she was just about to leave school and he was only 3 years older.

My mum also often told the story of their romance very differently…..

SHE said that she really wasn’t that bothered but he just wouldn’t leave her alone and eventually after all his asking, he worn her down and she finally agreed just to shut him up.

At this point, my dad would chirp in “Aye! I wish I hadn’t bothered!!” but he always saved his skin with a cheeky smile.

As DAD
My dad, as a dad, was ever one to give an opinion and would’ve said as a parent: in the first few years you teach your children to walk and talk and the rest of their lives telling them to sit down and shut up. However, unfortunately for him he had 4 feisty girls and there was no chance of that happening. I think he secretly loved the fact that we wouldn’t back down and had our own opinions.

I also remember his playfulness, on his hands and knees down the hall at Orchard Park with Chelsea on his back playing horsey as a small child and as a teenager she often had him building her projects late into the night when she was tucked safely up in her bed because she had left them to the last minute. Of all of us I think Chelsea knew how to twist him around her little finger the most.

As GRANDAD
To the grandchildren….
I know that you sometimes saw a grumpy grandda.
I mean… you had the audacity to open the BROWN lemonade when the WHITE lemonade was already opened…. Don’t they taste the same….surely???
AND eat all his ice cream…. Like, really……How dare you?

But even when he was grumpy, he REALLY missed you when you weren’t there, and grinned when he saw you coming.  He worried about you when you went out, worried about what you would do in your future, what that would hold, what job you would do, but above all else, all he wanted you to be as happy in everything you did. That was the most important thing. There is no mistake – There was NOTHING in this world that brought a twinkle to his eye more than YOU did.

To his GIRLS
I feel dad would remind his girls that no matter how hard this feels right now, it will not BREAK us, it will not DEFINE us. What will define us is using all that mum and dad both gave us as parents and the strength and courage to leave our own legacy that honours that.

On Friday morning dad stepped FAR from suffering and struggle into freedom. This is NOT the end, but the BEGINNING of the journey of freedom and into the presence of Jesus. I believe dad would say to you……If you must mourn, mourn BUT a little and celebrate a lot.

Dad, you are loved beyond measure and missed without exception.

In the words of Mia…… Grandas in Heaven but he can watch over us forever.
You shouldn’t be sad when people go to Heaven, they go to get better, you should be happy.